Question received from an eDateAbility Member through “Ask The Coach”:
I am a 42 year old male with CP. I live in the northeast US, and I’ve been communicating with a woman in Arkansas. My big question is, do long distance relationships work? TP, Pennsylvania
Answer: Long distance relationships are difficult. It is important to learn as much as possible about each other before investing the time, energy, and money into traveling to meet. You can do a lot of effective screening via phone and email if you ask good questions.
First, be clear on what you want – and what you don’t want. Talk to her about her values, her goals, her dreams. Learn about her attitudes about family, religion, money … and any other things that might be of importance in a potential relationship.
What tends to happen in long distance relationships is, the time together is often jam-packed with fun stuff. Tough issues are avoided so as not to cause a problem in the short visit, and neither one wants to end the time together on a sour note, so often, things that need to be addressed never are. Another pitfall is that often, red flags are ignored … or missed altogether.
It is important to get to know someone on a day to day basis. You need to see your mate at their best – and worst. Go slowly here and try to approach with eyes wide open.
Best of luck to you!